Are we worthy of such love?

     This week is the reason I love being a Christian. If you didn’t know, Jesus died on the Cross to become our sin so that we may have a chance for eternal life in Heaven. Then on Sunday, Jesus was resurrected symbolizing the eternal life that is granted to all who believe in him. It is also about complete verification of all Jesus had preached and taught during his ministry.

     My name is Tucker Jensen and I am a former Toronto Blue Jays pitcher. Normally, I would be “blogging” about my experience or exploits with baseball. Those times will come when the season starts. However, I wanted to do a blog that could possibly change perspectives in people’s lives who have not committed themselves to Jesus Christ or were questioning themselves because they deem themselves, “unworthy.” I don’t have a testimony that will move you in a way to lead you towards Jesus. God will reveal himself just as he did in my life. He doesn’t force himself upon our lives. Maybe this post isn’t for you. Maybe you’re already saved and my words mean nothing. Or that you don’t have the time to read what you think is “non-sense.” Maybe your life is perfect and don’t need any help, or that your life sucks and you blame God for it. Maybe this isn’t for you. But what if you are like me? What if you believe in God but think you are not worthy? What if you believe in God but need evidence? What if you believe in God but are embarrassed by all that you have done in the past and present and think… how could someone love me after all this?

     I’m a strong believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason. God revealed himself to me during a conference in Jacksonville, Florida listening to Matt Chandler and Eric Mason speak. Also, while at this conference, I saw others who were like me who struggled finding a reason for God to love me. Maybe by writing this post, I can convince others that you are not alone and that God does love you. I’m not writing this entry to force religion onto anyone or to say because of my faith, I am better than you. I was fortunate to listen to some great speakers and other Christians who showed me God’s love. My goal isn’t to change the world or to become, “the next big thing.” I only want to show others that Jesus has died for their sins too: past, present, and future. To share everything that had helped me.

     Many, including myself in the past, have trouble believing in God. And if they do, how could he ever love and forgive me for all that I have done in my life. I was once embarrassed for all that I was or had done. I thought I had all I needed in my life. I was a professional baseball player, there were women, there were parties, and there was money. I also had a good support system with family and friends. What else do I need? But yet, there was something missing. It was 2012, before I had gone to the Jacksonville conference; I’m thinking big things are going to happen with my baseball career. Things didn’t go that way at all. I didn’t get on a team for the season and had to attend Extended Spring-Training: something no baseball player my age wants to attend. Little did I know, my life would change forever. I started going to bible studies and going to church on a weekly basis, I changed the way I talked, I changed the music I listened to, and the people I hung out with. That hole I was missing was finally filled. My life had changed.

     Are you like this? Is there something missing in your life? Are you embarrassed of your sin(s)? Are you struggling? Do you think God is disappointed or frustrated? How could God love me? How could he love you?

     This is why this week is so important. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”God does not regret this. Nothing we do surprises him. He is not watching you and all your struggles. He is not watching you stumble and fall regretting the decision to pay the price for you in full. God loves today’s version just as much as the future you. God is all about your good. The Lord is faithful to those who struggle or go through loss.

     How are we so deserving of this gift? This love? How can we be loved in such a way? God, in his flesh form, sacrifice himself to become our sin. Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this; while we were still Sinners, Christ died for us.”WOW. “When we are at our worst, Jesus was at his best. When we least deserve grace, his grace was the absolute most. When we have nothing to show we deserve mercy, he takes our nothing to show his mercy for us.”

     1 John 4:9-11 says “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is Love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our Sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another”

     I am nowhere near perfect or capable to tell you what to believe or what not to believe. I don’t know everything about the gospel or how to interrupt a lot of things. All I know and what has been explained what God has done for me in my life. I was embarrassed for who I was in the past and even the present. Your salvation isn’t a past event alone, but that Christ even now is continuing to save you. He didn’t forgive your sins in the past leaving up to us Christians to conquer our present and future sins. Jesus paid the bill in full.

     God knows we are going to screw up often. He knows we are going to screw up often. He knows we are going to be drawn to things that are wicked. That’s what the cross is all about. That you’re going to stumble, that you’re going to fail, you’re going to feel dirty, you’re going to feel awkward. The whole point of the cross of Christ is that there’s going to be this mighty picture of his love and pursuit of you despite you. So the cross is necessary because of you, but it’s also the picture we have of just how far He’s willing to go because he loves us. -Matt Chandler

 

Guess Who's Back... Back in Bluefield.......Bluefield, West Virginia

       I'm alive! So as you all know it has been a long time since I last posted. I didn't think it was appropriate for you, the readers, to read my repetitive extended spring training days. Although, I did sharpen my slider and changed my arm slot, but I digress. It was the last week of extended spring training and everyone got three days off after the draft so I went home to Ormond Beach, FL. It was a much needed three days off from ball. I hung out with my mom and dad and had some long overdue home cooked meals. On the last night all three of us went to a Japanese steak house and watched as the chef cooked in front of us using the art of Hibachi. I got lobster and chicken and when it was all said and done I was stuffed. The chef kept putting all the leftover food on my plate. That next morning I headed back to Dunedin, FL to get ready for the last week of extended. Monday was the day that the Vancouver roster came out so everyone was eagerly waiting for the end of the intersquad game (that's when we play ourselves, two teams from the same team).  Once the game was over everyone crowded around the door to see who was leaving and who was staying. As you can tell from Bluefield being in my title I did not make the Vancouver roster.

Looks disgusting but in reality, it was delicious. Chef wouldn't stop filling my plate.

       When I checked the roster I had to skim it up and down three or four times because I was shocked I didn't get the opportunity. I'm not saying I deserved it over anyone by all means. I did all I could to make it and it didn't happen, you have to make the best out of every opportunity. Opportunities aren't missed, they are just found by someone else. The Bluefield and GCL rosters came out a couple days later after a couple more scrimmages and intersquads. I made the Bluefield roster along with thirty something other deserving guys. I think we have a pretty good squad this year with a lot of talent and determination to win. All of the players are nice guys and we don't have any knuckleheads or "Me Monsters." We were leaving Friday which was the 15th of June so obviously we left already and as I am writing this I am on a bus to Bristol, Tennessee for our first game and series of the season. It wasn't a bad flight. At 5:30 in the morning (yes I said 5:30 in the morning!!) we drove to MCO (that's Orlando International Airport for all you non ERAU people), which was no fun. Our bus drove us to wrong section so I had to carry my two 50 pound bags across the airport to the right ticketing counter. So I, along with the rest of the guys, got their morning workout in. The flight was fairly short. Only about an hour and a half to CLT (that's Charlotte, North Carolina). The bus drive to Bluefield, West Virginia wasn't fun. The bus was stuffed with people and their bags that weren't put on the U-Haul. I didn't have to worry about my luggage clogging up anything because it was still in North Carolina!

My view every morning

       We finally got to the Stadium to collect our bags and get all of our uniforms and equipment. My choice in number 14 was inspired by my pitching coach from college, Dave Therneau. So after I got situated I called lost baggage at CLT to figure out how I was getting my stuff. After about four hours of waiting, listening to hold music, arguing, some more waiting, and talking to US Airways reps, they finally were going to deliver my bags to me from the nearest airport. So now that I got that off my chest I could relax and enjoy our BBQ the boosters gave us at the Stadium. Everyone introduced themselves and we picked our host family out of a hat. Around three in the morning my hotel room phone started ringing over and over again until I finally picked it up. It was the front desk of the hotel letting me know that my bag was there. So I finally got my luggage no problem. The next day we played an exhibition game against a local collegiate league team in which we won on a walk off walk. Now don't get comfortable in the hotel because we were moving out that next morning to the Mountain View, a local college dorm.

Dave Therneau's protege

Bowen Field

       Once we got all settled in we had to go over to the bowling alley because we had an event with local children to hang out and bowl. I got murdered the first game by little kids. Although I bowled left handed, a loss is a loss and they didn't let me forget I lost. I guess they gave up because they didn't best me anymore. One was enough. We were all bowled out so we went to a local buffet called Ryan's. We had practice right after that and I pitched to simulate a start to get me ready for Saturday when I pitch against Johnson City at home.

Helping out with their form

Looking for autographs

My bowling buddy

Signing away

       So now that you are up-to-date with all my happenings I should be posting after every series (or at least try to). Thank you for reading and following up on me. Support is much needed and graciously appreciated. Euripides stated, "the man is happiest who lives from day to day and asks no more, garnering the simple goodness of life." Follow me on twitter if you haven't already. If you are, spread the word! Twitter!!!

Another view from my front door

Only cab in town taking guys to the Mountain View

My bed for now

My closet/sink/storage area

Things are starting to click

Its that time again to review my week in extended spring training down here in Dunedin, Florida. Probably my best week yet. It was an overall good week that flew by, only one more month until the draft and short season ball begins. I hope everyone that read last week's post didn't get that song stuck in their head for too long. To make up for it I have a new song I am currently listening to Gavin DeGraw, Sweeter.


The week started out with me pitching against the Pirates at home. I was scheduled to pitch three innings. The lead-off batter popped up to left field and fell in for a double; however, that runner would not score or even get to third for that matter. The first and second out were ground balls to third base. The third out was a soft ground ball back to me in which in my head I was thinking, "please don't throw it away," but I didn't and just lobbed it over. The second inning went just as the first did. The first guy grounded out, second guy walked, then a ground ball double play was induced. It was a fast three innings because the third went the same way as the first two. A walk, double play, and then another ground out. Out of three innings, all outs were ground ball outs. Only one ball left infield and that was the first batter of the game. Later that night a couple of us and some rehab guys had a bible study back at the hotel. A lot of good ideas and passages were brought up and discussed.


That next day was just as good as the one before. I didn't have to go on the trip but the team traveled to Tampa to play the Yankees. Later that evening, our bible study group and a couple other guys went to the local Boys and Girls Club to hang out and maybe play some ball with some kids. When we first got there the kids were sizing us up because we were obviously two, maybe three times the size of all of them. They were watching a movie and making a collage of dreams and goals they had. I made my own that included a Chevy Silverado, my dream truck. Justin Verlander represented my aspirations to make it to the major leagues. I also had Eva Mendez, not because she's my dream girl, but I want to be with someone like that. I didn't have time to finish because the kids wanted to head over to the gym to shoot the basketball around. We were probably in there for 30 minutes shooting the ball around and taking turns. Some other kids were playing volleyball, hitting it around in the air to other people. After we were done shooting we went over to a empty classroom to do arts and crafts. We made bracelets, puzzles, pictures, and some other stuff that I can't explain or I am not artistic enough to accomplish. After it was all said and done we left because it was time to go and we were starving. We went to Chick-fil-a and devoured some chicken sandwiches. Now, you can't go to Chick-fil-A without getting a milkshake, which I did. Cookies and cream milkshake to be exact. But a terrible turn for events happened when I got back to my room...... I DROPPED THE MILKSHAKE AND IT BROKE AND SPILLED EVERYWHERE. Now I'm not proud of what I did but I tried scooping some off the floor because it is so good, but I didn't drink it. Overall it was a good day, I love doing stuff like visiting the Boys and Girls Club. I have no problem doing stuff like that because it makes you feel great and there is nothing better than helping or hanging out with kids or people that don't have it as easy as I did. I'm not saying I have lived a great, easy life, but my life is a lot easier than others. And I know there are people out there that would love to be in my shoes and have the support I do.


I had a bullpen scheduled for Friday so I could have plenty of rest before my next start on Monday. My bullpen was a long one. When I was approaching my pitch count, Tony came over and saw my slider and how loopy it was, so I ended up throwing 30-40 more pitches trying to make improvements. I'm not complaining because I made a lot of improvements. A couple days later everything would click and I started throwing a tight, not loopy slider. I guess in a strange way I'm glad I'm here in extended because I have been improving and fixing things every week and I'm starting to become a complete pitcher. Now of course I do wish I was on a full-season team already, but I'm learning a lot and picking the pitching coachs' brains. 


Another week is over and history. I don't even know what day of the week it is or even what the date is, but I guess that is what extended spring training does to a player. Don't forget,"every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." I should have another blog done Saturday night with two starts this week and a very progressive bullpen.

Here's my number, so call me maybe

My title has nothing to do with baseball or anything relevant. Thanks to Jesse Litsch this song has been stuck in my head and I have been jamming out to it all night. Thank goodness my roommate can't hear me repeating this song over and over again through my headphones. You guys are in for a treat because I will share the song so that you too can enjoy or have it stuck in your HEAD. Any who, week three is now complete and the weeks are starting to fly by so hopefully it won't be long before I start my season. If you read my last post I left off on Monday hoping I didn't have to travel to Bradenton and I didn't! But I did have to stay back and watch a scrimmage game between us and team Canada Jr. Dozens of scouts showed up to watch Canada's finest young stars. There was definitely some talent on that team. Majority of the kids should project into good players.

Wednesday was my start day so I was pretty excited to have the opportunity to pitch and show the coaches what I had been working on. My curveball and slider are slowly but surely becoming good pitches. I'm so close! I was scheduled to pitch three innings at home against the Yankees again. I was feeling pretty good in the bullpen, curve and slider were tight and had good movement. Of course I wasn't facing anybody so it is kind of easy to pitch and look good. First inning was kind of shaky. First guy lead off with a double. Next batter walk then base hit. Bases loaded no outs, pretty good situation to be in. I calmed down a little and threw a good sinker low and the batter grounded into a double play 4-6-3. Second baseman fielded it, flipped it to shortstop for force out, then threw out runner at first. Two outs, one run has scored so I have avoided the big inning. I still had one runner at third, but he did not score. Batter grounded out to second on a curveball. My offense had my back though scoring four runs giving me the lead. If you are a big baseball follower, one has to know that it is vital to have shut down innings after your offense scores runs for the pitcher. That's just what I did. Three up three down. My best inning I had thrown all extended spring training. First guy struck out, second guy flied out to center, and lastly a strike out looking. The third inning didn't go as good as the second but it wasn't as bad as the first. I got two quick outs then some runners got on but I got out of another jam with a groundball out.

It wasn't the worst outing in the world, but it was an opportunity to take the positives and negatives and get better. I need to slow down when I'm pitching. So my bullpen on Saturday I will have to work on my curve and not being so quick to the plate. Thursday and Friday went by pretty fast. Thursday I was the bat boy when we traveled to the Yankees. Friday I stayed back and was on foul ball duty. My bullpen on Saturday was very productive. I worked out of the stretch to fix not being so quick to the plate. My curve was brutal in the beginning until I eventually found it so I am almost there, having more than two pitches I can throw well and for strikes! I also worked on balance point and getting some power when I'm out of windup. So I worked on that with CY, one of the pitching coaches. I had a pretty productive day. After my bullpen I had a good workout and run, and then watched the rest of the Phillies game because the team was home. That night we went out to dinner for George Carroll's birthday. It was a fun night hanging out with friends and just getting our minds off baseball.

Today was no different from any other Sunday in Dunedin. It is a day of relaxing and catching up on sleep. I laid in bed until four in the afternoon. I had leftover Steak & Shake so I had that for my breakfast/lunch. I decided I had to get up and do something plus I had to pick up something for dinner. I walked over to the mall that's across the street to get something from the food court. I got sidetracked though, I needed new sunglasses since my last pair are now swimming with the fishes in the Atlantic Ocean. I shopped around and found a pair of Ray Bans I enjoyed. As I was making my way to the food court I got distracted again by the Vans store, so I got some new shoes.

Finaly I was starving so I ended up in the food court and got a smoothie and sandwich for my dinner. So this concludes another week in extended spring training. Hopefully my next outing goes well. I pitch Tuesday against the Pirates: three innings again. Thank you for taking the time to read about my week and I am sorry if you clicked on that song and its in your head. If you didn't click it......... Click Me

Our greatest glory is not never falling, but rising every time we fall.

Welcome To The Grind

Week two is now over but its just the beginning of the daily grind that is called extended spring training. Monday was a pretty uneventful day because I was staying back while the players whom were playing that day traveled to the Pirates. Don't tell management but these are my favorite days. Staying back and getting my work done avoiding the long bus ride. I'm probably putting a jinx on myself because we are traveling to the Pirates tomorrow, but I digress. Monday was a easy day. I showed up early to the complex around seven to run workout and eat. It was two days before my appearance so my workout was a light lower body. Stretched is usually around 9:30 a.m. where we stretch, run agility, throw, previous game meetings, team defense, batting practice, and finally conditioning. That is pretty much the everyday schedule. The only thing that changes is my workouts, bullpen days, and conditioning.

Tuesday was a busy day for me. Of course I had the usual schedule of practice. However, we were home that day against the Pirates so I watched the game. The way our game(s) schedule works is that when we play home, the next game will be away against the same team and vice verse. Though we only play three teams: Yankees, Phillies, and Pirates. So you can kind of see why its called a grind. Things can get repetitious at times but I'm here to improve my game and work on my curve ball and slider, which has improved drastically. So back to why Tuesday was a big day. Kristina (@missflorida11) had invited me to Mr. and Miss USF in Tampa. We were leaving immediately after the Pirates game was over. She picked me up from the complex and we drove to USF to meet up with her friends who had competed against her or were still competing for Miss Florida. The winner of Miss USF would be able to compete in the 2012 Miss Florida in St Petersburg on July 8. There were some good contestants but there could only be one winner. The winners name was Bionqua  and she sang, "my heart will go on," and it was legit. It was probably why she won the event. After the event was over Kristina, her friend and I went to Applebees for dinner because it was the only thing open so late. After dinner we all called it a night and I went back to Dunedin because I had practice bright and early in the morning and then away game against the Yankees at one.

Kristina and I at University of South Florida

Nothing really happened Wednesday because that is just the life I life right now so I'm going to fast forward to my two innings on Thursday against the Yankees. This was the most chill day we had because of a wildfire on the Florida/Georgia border. We got "smoked" out of practice that morning and our home game against the Yankees. There was a lot of smoke outside, so much I could hardly breathe just cleaning my shoes outside the clubhouse. We couldn't play at home so we traveled to Tampa. I was not scheduled to start. I was third in line and I would get my two innings of work, condition and I was done for the day. When it was my turn to start warming up I headed down to the bullpen. I stretched and started light tossing until our guy went out for his last inning. I headed out to the mound for the bottom of the fourth (we were still home though we were in Tampa). The first batter laid a bunt down the third base line so I quickly ran over, caught the ball on its second bounce then planted and fired to first base getting the runner by a step. One pitch one out, so far so good. The second batter I was ahead right away with a zero balls two strike count. Despite being ahead I then threw four balls in a row walking the batter. Now I am in the stretch for the first time in 2012. Ball one, ball two. Damn I think to myself as I quickly fall behind.

Next pitch was a fastball for a strike on outside corner. I got the batter to ground out on a sinker down and in, but it was only a fielders choice as the batter was safe at first. However, the runner would quickly head back to dugout because I picked him off. For all you non baseball lingo people, getting picked off means the pitcher throws the ball to the base being occupied but the runner can not get back in time and is tagged out. My second and final inning went well. I got two ground outs and a fly out. My final line was 2 innings, 0 hits, 0 runs, 1 walk, and 0 strikeouts. That was pretty much the right up of my week. Friday I ran and practiced. Saturday I threw a bullpen. I did however get assigned ball boy for the Phillies game Friday so that was pretty exciting! My next appearance is Wednesday in which I will pitch three innings. I will probably write next on Sunday to give my weekly update so stay tuned! Sorry I can't right everyday. There is only so much I can write and a lot of the same thing happens everyday so I wouldn't want to bore you. I will try and get some baseball pictures or some uniform pictures up if I can. Can't really carry your phone outside to a game.